Castle of the Sex Cannibals
by Mark Andrew Thomas
Title
Castle of the Sex Cannibals
Artist
Mark Andrew Thomas
Medium
Photograph - Digital
Description
CASTLE OF THE SEX CANNIBALS
Oh where to begin. A group of friends and I had decided to stay in this castle as it looked pretty interesting on the website. When we showed up and rang the bell a man in his 70's opened the door wearing...nothing. We all looked at each other and were like "okaaayyyy...". He led us into the hallway foyer where we registered and then went up the staircase to our room. It was a huge room with many beds, some of them were canopy beds, some were four posters, and some were just regular beds. It reminded me of a boarding school. There were no other other people staying in the big room although another man checked in later. As we explored the premises we discovered that there were several other men in the place...some wearing clothing some not. There were private rooms off the upstairs hallway but our budget didn't allow for that. We were informed that dinner would be served around 6 p.m. BTW it was a cold January evening so we all bundled up and explored the grounds outside before getting ready for dinner.
We were given a tour of the kitchen by the other owner and this kitchen was huge. It bwas the kind of kitchen you'd expect to see in a castle. Several ovens, a huge island, and the ceilings were about 20 feet high. Something like beef stew was cooking in a large pot and we were then ushered into the large formal dining room where a couple of other people were sitting...completely unclothed. The large fireplace had a fire crackling away and it truly felt like were in Dracula's castle. It also felt like we landed in a horror movie a la Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I whispered to my friend "I'll stick to the vegetables because they're probably cooking people in that big pot". A ridiculous thought and obviously not true but I just didn't want to eat anything that came out of that kitchen. The owners were very friendly though and very hospitable.
After dinner were explored a small room off our second floor dormitory and found a wall filled with videos and movies and a door that led out to a terrace outside. It was freezing cold but we had had a few shots of whiskey and decided to explore the grounds again. Every noise and rustle in the forest out back creeped us out but it was awesome at the same time. We actually got pretty drunk that night (I'm amazed this photo actually came out) and I'll leave out the details but it was actually one of the most memorable weekends I've ever spent anywhere.
The next day the owner (now clothed) took us on a tour of the grounds which consisted of a big wooded area, a stream that had a footbridge to cross, and some old structures on the property. By this time we had gotten used to our surroundings and the "clothing optional" policy of the B&B. The owners were actually really nice and it taught me that people may be different but it's not fair to judge based on appearance.
Uploaded
September 2nd, 2017
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